At the edge of the fire

So I stand at the edge of the fire, I ask God to make me new While holding on to a drum of water, In case I don't like the new me, In case my friends don't like the new me, I shall still have a means of escape. So I kneel at the edge of the fire, Craving it and resisting it, Knowing that this burn is worth it, But I'm too scared to try Who knows what I'll become? So I sit at the edge of the fire, My head is throbbing with questions that provoke the existence of a supernatural being. So I leave the fireplace I go back to my cave, To the version of me Heaven doesn’t recognize. Transformation is coming, But I'm not ready. And somehow, I still find myself here, Standing at the edge of this fire that looks familiar.